I would like to have another biological child, and can argue that the desire is good. Children are a gift from God, after all (See Psalm 127:3).
And yet, there are millions of orphans in the world. And over and over again, Biblical writers urge those of us who follow God to take care of the widows and the orphans (See James 1:27). If there's anything I believe, it is that I am to participate in changing the "economy" of the world, I am to participate in caring for the "least" of these (Matthew 25:40).
So why do I still want a child that bears my own genetic makeup, along with Peter's?
Whenever I try to get pregnant, I "risk" conceiving another child with Down syndrome, and my "risk" is higher than average (1 in 100, and rising as I age). While I would welcome another child with Down syndrome, I would nonetheless be contributing to rising medical costs. Penny is quite healthy, and yet we still see at least four specialists a year that we probably wouldn't see if she didn't have Ds, not to mention the tax dollars expended on her quite specialized education.
Why not adopt?
Well, adoption can cost a lot of money too. And it can take years.
I've thought about these things in the abstract for a long while. But recently, friends of ours decided to adopt two children from Ethiopia after a long struggle with infertility. They tell their story with honesty and beauty, and I commend it to you. For their blog, click here.
I don't have answers. But I need to face the question: Why do I want biological children when there are particular risks in my case, and particular costs, and there are children "out there" in need?
Posts
8 comments:
Why not consider adopting a child with DS? Reece's Rainbow has all the information.
I've thought about it, and I'm intrigued by the idea. My husband and I also live on the campus of a boarding school with 30 boys, so I want to be careful about how I allocate time and resources. And there are so many inherent fears in any adoption, aren't there?
I often ask myself these same questions... I so wish the answers were easier to discern!
This prospect is such a battle! I was reading an older Max Lucado book this morning, and the subject I found myself reading on was adoption. I hear it often in the radio...to the point that I really feel God leading now in that direction. I sign on and find your post...it's interesting to read about how God is speaking to others who are close to His heart. I want another biological child too. I have the desire to adopt as well. Why the struggle?? It's a mystery. Follow the direction the Lord leads you in as you seek answers from Him.
I have been wrestling with the same issue of late.
Drew doesn't wrestle. He says if we go for another, we should adopt.
There is something tied up in it for me with the purposefulness of my body. Since it can create, and has created really fun people, I want to engage in that process again.
I am even open to 5 kids. I make one more, and we pick up one more. I am not sure he is there...
I am fascinated by women's fascination with making a baby in their own body. It is strange and interesting to me. That is an interesting point regarding the purpose of a woman's body. Do we have to see it as a purpose, or is it ok to see it more as an amazing potential? (and vulnerability, but that's another topic) Can any or all of you try to explain it more? And regarding inherent fears in adoption--aren't there also these fears in conceiving?
Hi Amy Julia- I just finished Penelope Ayers and look forward to your next book! In the meantime, excited to hear that adoption is on your heart. Glad to share my perspective as an incredibly blessed "adult" adoptee!
Oh Amy Julia (and Peter),
We quite obviously went through this same struggle...and we still ask and pray to God that we would have biological children. We have seen so clearly (already) that children are indeed a blessing--to us, and (we hope and pray for ours) to the world.
I think that God gave us an inherent desire to "create in His own image", and that this is "very good". So, while Sara and I have so clearly been blessed by our adoption, we still long to join Him in this good work. And yeah...'twould be fun to have a son that looks like me (well, hopefully more like Sara, if he's lucky).
While adoption isn't for the faint of heart, we've discovered such glorious richness in the process, and I have to intentionally restrain myself from aggressively proselytizing on the subject. I probably shouldn't admit this so publicly, but privately I've thought that every family should seriously consider adoption as an important venture to, at the least, support.
Scripture is quite clear on our adoption into God's family...and I have a much greater sense of God's (adoptive) fatherhood of us because of this. And there's particular little metaphoric pictures which give us joy: Did you know that biological parents are legally permitted to relinquish their children? Adoptive parents are (legally) bound for life. That's just one very small picture of the richness of God's love--perhaps intentionally made manifest in the yet-still-broken legal code of our country.
So, perhaps you're getting the adoption bug. Or, perhaps I'm reading too much into your stray thought of the week :). But regardless of how this thought proceeds, I believe you and Peter would be richly blessed however God chooses to grow your family.
That, already, is quite clear.
Post a Comment